Howdy I'm Pixel!

Now

This Now page was inspired by Derek Sivers and Anish Lakhwara. Find others right now

It's been five months working on this website. I've deleted my accounts on platforms like instagram and discord and made way for spaces like Mastodon, Matrix, and Gemini. I've decluttered my life quite a bit this way.

The past few months have also been a difficult time for close relationships, family and friends. I am slowly getting through reading Overstory, and page by page I'm forced to look at the clearcuts in my life. Sometimes sadness and fear is overwhelming. However, I've been exploring opportunities for stories that once seemed like they had simply ended nowhere to have new life and have discovered beautiful things from it. I want to make space for second chances, for every tiny interaction that has meant so much to me when there is only so much of the world I'll ever get to see. That includes offering people who pass by my life a chance for me to mail them a book or the funds to receive one, be it a cookbook or a glance into new and forgotten knowledge.

Before I start my summer internship and digital humanities workshops, I've been working on a lot of art, picking up projects I had also been too unnerved to confront. It has made me realize a lot about regret. Instead of "I wish I was as creative as when I was younger", I recognize that those experiences are still a part of me and have changed how I create. I'm in a transition stage and I hope I don't lose this hope moving forwards. Forward to my studies for the LEED Green Assoc. Exam, sitting through these lectures are a pain. But I've got quite a lot of beadwork requests to get to too.

More than ever, I've been listening to a lot of podcasts. I'm inbetween Kaleidotrope and Missing Richard Simmons (which I am just now learning was a real investigation), though I can imagine I will be finishing them within a matter of days. I wanted to listen to something different after listening to quite a lot of horror.

I'm constantly learning how to use new tools. There are so many things I want to do to make a space for myself on this little corner of the internet. Just today, I learned how to use git, miniconda, and ubuntu—or at least started to. My to-do list ever grows with many things that bring me joy. I'm getting to know who I am and what I love better. I do this for the sake of trying to determine how we can consume less energy and minimize our ecological impact on the environment while we try to access one another digitally and remotely and tell our stories in new ways—and it just so happens that I recently wrote a paper on that too. Honestly, I'm proud of it.

I've been hosting a lot of group listening sessions through Spotify, which I've also got hooked up to Spicetify CLI because I hate the new UX update. My sessions vary from Mando-Pop to RnB to Punk Rock. It's a good time and I love seeing my friends from different places coming together to listen to music with me, even if we might not have the words to speak to one another.

My college is having a housing problem, and my friends and I don't know if we'll get a chance to get a place to live. It's unclear how serious the issue is. While it's always nice to save a buck or too, what's saving money got to mean by the end of Late-Stage Capitalism, when I can't even be with my chosen family and those I love, even if they are literal clowns.